Lori describes a therapist's work as imagining her patients down the line.
Have you ever associated numbing behavior with being overwhelmed? People often mistake numbness for nothingness, but numbness isn't the absence of feelings it's a response to being overwhelmed by too many feelings. It's in the ellipsis that therapists work. They shield people from injury.until they no longer need them. As the term implies, defenses serve a useful purpose. He knows that pushing aside emotions only makes them stronger, but that before he goes in and destroys somebody's defense - whether that defense is obsessing about another person or pretending not to see what's in plain sight - he needs to help the patient replace the defense with something else so that he doesn't leave the person raw and exposed with no protection whatsoever. He knows that most people are brilliant at finding ways to filter out the things they don't want to look at, at using distractions or defenses to keep threatening feelings at bay. Did it change your perspective on therapy (or a bad breakup)? He knows what all therapists know: That the presenting problem, the issue someone comes in with, is often just one aspect of a larger problem, if not a red herring entirely. Is this a memoir or a self-help book? What did you make of the format?Ĥ. :) I mean, this is book club, right? Not therapy? Then again, maybe there are aspects of book club that dovetail therapy - see questions #3 and #17.ĭrop us a line and let us know if we can hope to see you!Ģ. The second reason is this: As I was reading, I found much to chew on.but I thought if I highlighted what really jumped out to me, I may reveal my issue.
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